( catchall ) gu yun

[fatalattraction]

i need to learn more about gy before i can properly shitpost but for now the fact that i keep really wanting to call him gun yu will have to suffice

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( week 0 ) tuesday

[fatalattraction]

[ sometime tuesday morning, gy will receive the following text: ]

omggg sorry for ghosting you over the weekend zixi!!!!! 😭😭🙇‍♀️
(hehehe)
but for real stuff came up but the dumb phone wouldnt let me text u again!!! 😫
im free right now though
meet me in the kitchen? 🍳🥂

[ does he follow through? ]

[liuli]

[ ghosting?? wasn't that the point??? ]
🍳👻

[ that is to say!! after sending this, its a few minutes before eventually, gu yun rounds the corner! he's dressed in his dark robes, sans his monocle, and offers a sly grin and a wave as he comes through the door. ]

Boo. [ hopefully that's enough of a greeting. ]

[fatalattraction]

[ HE LEARNS SO FAST... proud of him

but misa is remarkably less proud, at least in the moment, because she screams when gu yun enters the kitchen! it, at least, is not because he spooked her... it's because she discovered the Scorpion Milk Carton.

said carton is now being hurled fastly toward gu yun's head. ]

[liuli]

[ YEET

it is only through many, many years of military training that gu yun does not get beaned in the face with this milk carton. he manages to duck out of the way - however, the carton hits the back wall and explodes in a mess of milk, and... a dead scorpion that slides pathetically to the floor with a little "plop". ]

What -

[ . . . ] ...was that.

[fatalattraction]

[ she's stopped screaming by now, but she's moved onto hiding behind the still-open fridge door. ]

I don't know! All I wanted was some milk and that was inside it! Gross!!

[liuli]

[ amazingly, gu yun has seen scorpions before. not the gators that plagued his mini event, but scorpions! he walks over and gives the corpse of it a nudge with his toe, balancing his weight so he doesn't die a milk death week zero. ]

Oh, it's dead. [ gross. he'll nudge it with his boot a couple times and then grab the destroyed carton to scoop it up. ] Bad with bugs, huh?

[ terrible. misa is a cute girl so he won't bully her with it, instead, going to deposit the carton and scorpion corpse (scorpse?) in the nearest trash can. ] Is there more milk in there? I'll check it for you.

[fatalattraction]

I'm not bad with them, but wouldn't anyone be scared to find a dead bug in their milk?!

[ NO BULLY...!! but as soon as gy wanders over to check the fridge, she'll instead scurry around to hide behind him instead of the door, peeking around him with extreme trepidation. in a hushed whisper—as if that'll discourage any other creepy crawlies that might be lurking about—she asks, ]

Th-there's nothing else weird in there, right...?

[liuli]

Ahh!

[ suddenly, out of nowhere, while holding a milk carton, he yelps, loudly -- ]

[liuli]

[ - and then grins and shows her the completely clean milk carton. ]

Thought it was expired.

[ bully ]

[fatalattraction]

[ SHE ALMOST SCREAMS AGAIN BUT THEN SHE PUNCHES HIM WITH HER ANGRY LITTLE FISTS ]

Zixi, you're mean!

[liuli]

[ wehehe

he's snickering, now, letting her punch him with her tiny little baby fists! hilarious ] Ahh, sorry, sorry, I just couldn't help it!

[ what a bully. he offers the milk carton for real, though, eyes twinkling. ] After all, you did curse me. [ TEASING, he looks so amused. ] Here.

sisi: goodbye pcs me: [beegun]

[fatalattraction]

[ she just. huffs at him... but then he mentions the curse, and she can't help but giggle. ]

Okay, fine, I'll let it go... but just this once! [ she'll take the un-scorpo'd milk, then, and stick her tongue out at him. nyehhh. ]

Any follow-up on the texts you sent?

andie is allowed

[liuli]

[ teehee. he's very amused by his little joke, stepping back out of the way to let her get what she wants - gu yun sticks his tongue out, too, and then leans against the counter. ]

Only that many people aren't terribly good at playing along. All in all, rather disappointing. [ boooo ] I got a few, though.

[fatalattraction]

[ the milk is really all she wanted from the fridge! a few moments later, the vending machine dispenses a pack of treasure chips. pouring herself a glass of milk, she cracks the cookie package open and dunks one right into the cup. gy's response makes her pout, though... ]

Oh, lame. Did they just, like, ignore you instead of keeping it going?